• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Mike Skinner Music

Mike Skinner Music

  • Home
  • Contact
  • About
    • What I Do As A Musician
    • What I Do As An Advocate
    • Testimonials
    • Biography
    • Awards
    • Accomplishments
  • News
    • Articles
    • Video
    • Interviews & Performances
  • Music
    • Album: Waitin’ For A Train
    • Album: Train of Tears
      • Thank You
    • Album: Pirates
  • Presentations
    • Presentations, Workshops and Writing
    • Let Michael Talk At Your Next Meeting
  • Advocacy
    • Why Advocacy?
    • Creativity, Mental Health and Advocacy Resources
    • Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma and Abuse
    • Peer Support and Help
    • Famous People With A Mental Health Concern / Illness
  • My account

Thoughts & Music to share on Resiliency

March 28, 2016 by Michael Skinner

 

I read this article at my friend Helga Luest’s, Trauma Informed Linked In post and shared a comment and I thought to dive a bit more, into why I feel the way I do about ‘resiliency‘.

Here is my post comment to the article – Natural Resilience to Major Life Stressors Not So Common – Association for Psychological Science

I am glad they are talking about this. – “Previously it was thought such interventions may not be a good utilization of resources or could be detrimental to the person,” he said. “But based on our findings, we may need to rethink that and to think after the event: What are the best ways that we can help individuals to move forward?” – I have come to the belief, that yes, there is a natural resiliency in all of us…BUT, if one has been knocked down, one too many times, one becomes ‘punch-drunk’…and yes, you may get up off the mat, but, there is long term damage. It is the multiple stressors that tear people apart – ‘death by a thousand cuts‘. And this is why I have trouble with society, treatment providers and fellow trauma survivors in how they treat and view others who are struggling – we cannot compare ourselves to what others have experienced. We have not walked in their shoes…how often do we get the opportunity to sit down with someone and hear their life’s story?

“Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.” Sioux Indian Prayer

As human beings, we all have a vast amount of experiences in life and for many, trauma plays a big part in our journey. We love to read the books, watch the movies and hear the interviews of the survivors of trauma, abuse, cancer, war, etc, and how they overcame their obstacles and found a way to find meaning in life and learn to thrive. I too, love to hear of these stories of courage and perseverance.

But…I take great exception to those, who compare the folks who have gone on in life successfully, to those who are still struggling – we do not know, what else they have encountered in life or what may be going on in the present. And all too often, if they lacked love, nurturing and support in childhood, well, that makes the navigating of life and its traumas, even more difficult to overcome. We need more compassion and empathy, and maybe a helping hand, not judgment.

Think of how many people self-medicate on TV, movies, sports, drugs, alcohol, to name a few. Yeah, they are getting by in life, showing up for work and punching in at the clock and yes, some level of resiliency helped them survive, but is this thriving? And what of the disenfranchised, those who look to be broken down, struggling in life – the folks whose spirits have been crushed. We don’t need to look to far, take a visit to the local mental health peer support center and the mental health treatment center they attend. How often do we get the time to sit down and listen for an hour, as this person shares parts of their life? And yes, you can share with them all of the latest peer support info, trauma informed care and practices, but if we are not engaging them wholly as human beings, with no judgment and casting of your thoughts on why don’t they just move on and get over it, because you did, well, that will not help. And how can they move on if they are over-medicated? How do we reach folks and help them up, not hold them down?

People are hurting all over this world and there are great examples of kindness and caring in reaching out to those in a world of pain and suffering, but we need more of that, especially among ourselves, those who have been educated and trained in peer support, trauma informed care, etc – there is still a mindset among some, well, I did it, so you need to. I do believe all can heal…but for some, the journey may take a lot longer and unless you have walked in their shoes, please leave the judgment police at home.

Please take a few minutes to listen to this song – I feel it touches upon what I have shared, thanks!  “What A Shame”, Shinedown

 

Thank you and take care, Michael Skinner

PS Any thoughts, please send them along – Contact Me

Filed Under: Articles, News Tagged With: healing, resiliency, trauma

Primary Sidebar

Recent News

  • Surviving Spirit Newsletter May 2025
  • I Hear You Calling(c) By Michelle Skinner and Michael Skinner – Live Performance
  • Monday Music sharing – Peace Of Mind
  • Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2025
  • April is Child Abuse Awareness Month; thoughts, statistics and a song to share

RSS Trauma & Abuse News

  • We CAN do something!
  • Artificial Intelligence is coming for us all
  • ACEsTooHigh on hiatus
  • This isn’t your usual article about how bad domestic violence is; it’s about a solution
  • To end domestic violence, heal the abusers…say those who do
  • 2 Worth checking out: Neighborhood uses ACEs to prevent opioid deaths; burgeoning research about PACEs science
  • 2 Worth checking out: innerBoy app a promising solution for family violence. Could Ozempic curb cravings for alcohol, shopping & gambling?
  • 2 Worth checking out: Childhood adversity linked to health, financial problems in older adults; bill introduced to untangle poverty from child neglect
  • ACEsTooHigh spins off from PACEs Connection
  • Mayday at the Bottom of the World

Archives

  • June 2025
  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • August 2024
  • July 2024
  • June 2024
  • May 2024
  • April 2024
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • December 2023
  • October 2023
  • July 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • November 2019
  • May 2019
  • March 2019
  • July 2018
  • December 2017
  • June 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • September 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013

Categories

  • Articles
  • Interviews and Performances – Audio Files
  • Mental Health Advocacy
  • Music
  • News
  • Sexual Abuse Advocacy
  • Uncategorized
  • Video

Footer

Address

38 River Ledge Drive
Goffstown, NH 03045
Google Map/Directions, Contact Form

Site Links

Biography
Testimonials
Resume
Awards
Events
Contact

Advocacy

Why Advocacy
Trauma / Sexual Abuse / Incest
Peer Support And Help
Mental Health Info & Resources
The Famous List

Connect With Mike

Visit Mike On Facebook Visit Mike On Twitter
Visit Mike On YouTube Visit Mike On MySpace
Get The RSS Feed