Home for the holidays and what it entails – I do enjoy the lights, the festive feelings in the air, seeing friends, seeing kids and people happy….and mindful of the hard times so many are facing. But truth be told, I can’t wait for the holidays to be over. They were a time of pain and suffering as a child and as an adult they are a constant reminder/trigger to the past feelings and memories of abuse. Yesterday, Dec 26 was Betty Skinner’s birthday – one of my many pedophile perpetrators, yes my ‘mother’. Today, Dec 27 is my brother Danny’s birthday, lost him to suicide years ago. In two days it is Dick Skinner’s birthday, another pedophile perpetrator, and yes my ‘father.’ New years Day many years ago is the day my brother David ended his life – I was on the road drumming with a band when I learned the news…it was a long ride home. Danny’s passing took place while I was performing [guitar/singing] and speaking at the Male Survivor Conference in Minneapolis, MN. So even when you are doing the things you love tragedy can strike…
I have mourned their loss, mindful grief is ongoing and it comes in at different times…but this year it’s kicking my butt…maybe it’s my awareness of being older and all it entails.
The world needs to take it’s damn head out of the sand and address the pandemic of trauma and abuse that has impacted so many lives…..Michael Skinner
